Published at Open Salon.com – an Editor Pick, October 4, 2011
I lived in San Francisco throughout the 1970s, stalking the last of the Beats and other literati, trying hard to be a writer. In 1980, in order to take a real job, I moved to Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley, best known as the birthplace of Bethlehem Steel. I had followed the road to Emmaus, Bethlehem’s neighbor, to write for Rodale Press, publishers of organic and healthy living books and magazines since the 1940s. I didn’t expect to find a kindred spirit there or much to fuel my muse.
Sitting long hours in North Beach’s smoky cafes to philosophize with the poets had primed me to filter out the aesthetic merits of Pennsylvania Dutch country. Sleepy towns with biblical names, the need to plan ahead if I wanted wine on Sundays, and the janitor who asked me if he could “outten the lights” only fed my sense of alienation from the pulse of true art.
It took one afternoon, June 15, 1981, to prove me fatefully blindsided by my own self-absorption and to show me how useless it is to cling to ideas of art. My boss summoned me into his office and asked if I would drive an out-of-town
visitor who had some French-sounding name to Rodale’s famous organic farm. Looking out this window, I could not hear the crickets droning, but I could see the thickness of early summer gathering like phlegm.
Sure, I said, although I would have preferred to hunker down in my air-conditioned cubical working on my ever-in-progress novel. I found the stranger, Annie, waiting for me patiently and unobtrusively in Rodale’s cheery corridor. Slowly, it came to me—ah, yes, she had written some home dairy cookbook for Rodale. There she stood in stark contrast to the other authors I had met, all New Yorkers—Marion Gorman, Sheryl and Mel London—sophisticated palates we would meet and dine with in mid-town Manhattan.
This Annie fit the publisher’s folksy image, which in those days some of top management wanted desperately to change. I led her out into the muggy air to the car, my mind stuck on a pivotal scene in my novel. Oblivious to my distractedness, Annie was immediately congenial. I recall how she was dressed that swimmingly hot day, in a smock, which I learned had traveled with her 12 hours by train from Vermont to Lehigh Valley. Naturally, steeped in my inflated sense of superiority, I noticed it was a loose, unfashionable smock and that Annie, wearing thick and rimless glasses, had a head of tight permed curls over which she wore a pastel-colored babushka.
We drove the ten miles or so from the publishing headquarters through the back roads of Macungie toward Maxatawny, where someone had intoned the cowpokes are brawny. Annie did the talking. My own work possessed me less and less. She told of living in the backwoods of New England, where she’d been a gardener all her life. “Got 60 acres of a farmlet. We grow legumes, beans—noel beans, crimson and green limas.”
We passed the Velodrome in Trexlertown and my mind drifted again, to Bicycling, one of Rodale’s fitness magazines I aspired to write for.
“ . . . and free range chickens,” Annie was saying when I tuned back in. “Taste better, because they develop good muscle tissue through exercise. Grain-fattened and ready in six weeks. No fat tissue from just sittin’ around.”
All of which held little interest for an “urbane” writer feeling stuck in Podunk. Even so, the passionately green and lush rolling hills of the Lehigh Valley struck a chord and I was flooded with a terrible unnamable sense of loss that has haunted me through life. Perhaps it was because that humid landscape was something I had grown up with in New Jersey and missed in California. “Annie, this is beautiful country,” I announced.
“Too densely populated,” dismissed Annie, going on to explain how rural bartering helped her. “You can’t be self-sufficient alone. Cidering is our specialty.”
We neared Rodale’s 300-plus acres of organic farm. Annie said, “I don’t expect I’ll see any corn. Unecological; high feeder; no need to grow it; let the home gardener grow it.”
Two farm workers, greeted us, and the four of us trudged in the wet heat up the road to a patch they were working. Annie bent over and picked a roadside weed. She handed it to me. It was the color of chamomile.
“Crush it and sniff.”
“Hmmm, pineapple?” I said.
“Pineapple weed.”
A bee landed on Annie’s shin. She stopped and stared at it and just kept looking with aplomb. I wanted to swat it, but I felt Annie knew what she was doing. She began to give off that sort of vibe. The bee finally took flight. She was no longer a bumpkin. She was a bee whisperer. And, still, I was too obtuse to know what I was in the presence of, what I should have done, should have said.
“Oh, Chrysanthemums!” Annie exclaimed. “We ate them in Tokyo. And nasturtiums, variegated ones.” I had a hard time picturing her in that smock and kerchief in Japan.
In the greenhouse, we passed a rainbow of amaranth varieties, an ancient grain then fairly new to American cookery. Writing the grains chapter for a cookbook, I had eaten heaps of amaranth, the grains and the greens. I rather liked it minus the human blood the Aztecs added. I wish I had told Annie that. Had I only realized how darkly humorous this woman was.
I admired the way she could peel off Latin nomenclature as we strolled through gardens, farm rows, and greenhouses. I once thought I couldn’t be a real writer until I knew the names of everything—all flora, fauna, all land forms, all entities, and all phenomenon. A part of me still believes that. But then and there, I was stuck inside a narrow taxonomy, that of the narrative that makes artful fiction of real life, and this preoccupation ironically separated me from the moment or caring about Latin names.
We came upon a purplish flower in the herb garden. “Pyrethrum,” said Annie with her botanical certainty. I listened raptly at first as she told me that she had been thinking about a wonderful 1930s mystery where someone gets killed by pyrethrum. This man had bunches of it hanging upside down in his home in a room. Someone locked him in and the fumes killed him. I lost the thread and can’t recall if she were writing that story or had read it. Stupid of me not to get that straight.
She said she wrote fiction at night and, “All my fiction revolves around the outdoors.”
There my memory fades. But this Annie made an impression. What would I do for a jolt in Emmaus without people like Annie coming through . . . ? I wrote in my journal that evening, still ignorant that I had been in the company of a future acclaimed novelist and winner of the Pulitzer, PEN/Faulkner, and National Book awards. Had I known, I might have made sure we at least became pen pals.
The next time I met Annie—Annie Proulx—was 28 years later in July, 2009, during a book fair in Buenos Aires where I was living. I sat in the audience with a few hundred adoring Argentine fans at MALBA, the city’s Museum of Modern Art. I might have guessed they were eager to meet the woman behind El Secreto de la Montaña, the most romantic short story I have ever read, also released as a novela and the Oscar-winning Brokeback Mountain.
Perhaps the author’s changed demeanor (less folksy) was a figment of my humbled imagination. She seemed much taller than I recalled. She wore smart slacks and looked younger (no more perm), probably because I was now twelve years older than she was when we met. It struck me that she felt no need to attempt even one word in Spanish. An interpreter kept pace with her. She seemed travel weary, impatient at times, and determined to speak mainly, not on the art of writing, but on writers’ rights, addressing the then-escalating problem of electronic book sales. When pushed, she did offer advice. If you want to write, read, read, read. Not really necessary advice in this Latin City that tallies many more bookstores than churches..
I raised my hand and started to remind her of our day out at Rodale’s organic farm. By some miracle, I had reported the day—the farm tour, the way she dressed, and the dialogue verbatim—perhaps for a future story, in my journal. But before I was even through my sentence, she was shrugging it off as a too-distant memory. Next question.
Since our day at the farm, I had left the Lehigh Valley, moved back to San Francisco, published my novel, and written or edited a few other books with modest print runs. If they weren’t “true art” they had a healthy shelf life. And, well, maybe, all that some of them lacked was a big-name endorsement.
At the wine and hors d’oeuvres at MALBA, I approached Annie amid the swarm of Argentines with a complimentary copy of my latest book, a memoir, Tango, an Argentine Love Story (Seal Press). She flatly said, “I have no time to read it.”
Not even the free-flowing Malbec could temper the sting. I held close to my friend Ed and we faded into the crowd, then left. As we walked back to my apartment I told Ed about the other Annie I had once met in the Lehigh Valley, the crushed pineapple weed, pyrethrum, and the murder mystery. I consoled myself that at the very least, I had a narrative with an arc, one that I had helped shape, with the fullness of time: an inauspicious beginning, a mind-awakening middle, and an open, then shut, ending.